i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
