Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
