so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize