Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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