yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
