I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
