Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
