It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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