Moan for me like Helen Keller
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize