Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
