im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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