Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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