just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
