Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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