Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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