i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just forgot I was standing up.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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