It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
