You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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