Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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