It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
P.S. I can't hear my feet
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
BRING THE BAGELS
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
