Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
