i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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