The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I could make wine with my vomit
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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