we're blogging at a bar
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize