There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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