I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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