im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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