just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize