So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
