So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
