He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
