just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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