There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
im holly from the hills drunk
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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