Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
