I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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