AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize