This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
