also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
