we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We need to get me chipped asap
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
