When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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