2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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