i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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