Jerry, you need to find god
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize