C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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