they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
