Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
