While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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