we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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