Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
