people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think my vagina is haunted
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
