He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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