hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
