found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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