Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
