Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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