went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
