I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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