Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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