She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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