So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
